THE VERY NOTION THAT I AM NOT FABULOUS IS PREPOSTEROUS, AND I REFUSE TO EVEN ENTERTAIN IT.
KINDLY REMOVE YOURSELF FROM MY PRESENCE. MY PORES GET CLOGGED WHEN I’M FORCED TO SHARE AIR WITH DUNCES.
THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS LISTENING TO ME COMPLAIN ABOUT MY JOB FOR HOURS ON END EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHO ANY OF THE PEOPLE I’M TALKING ABOUT ARE, OR HOW THE BASICS OF MY CHOSEN INDUSTRY FUNCTION.
IN MY HEAD I JUST PICTURE YOUR COWORKERS AS VARIOUS D-LIST TV ACTORS. IT MAKES YOUR COMPLAINING LIKE A LITTLE SHOW. OF COURSE, IT’S A TERRIBLE SHOW AND I HATE ALL THOSE ACTORS NOW, EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVEN’T ACTUALLY DONE ANY OF THE THINGS I HATE THEM FOR.
WHAT ABOUT WHEN I DESCRIBE THE JOB ITSELF IN EXCRUCIATINGLY BORING DETAIL?
QUITE HONESTLY, ONCE YOU GO OFF ON SPECIFICS I JUST TUNE YOU OUT AND TRY TO NOD EVERY 30 SECONDS OR SO. SOMETIMES I GO, “UGH” OR “OH, THAT’S TERRIBLE.” IT WORKS ALMOST EVERY TIME.
YOU ARE A HANDSOME GENIUS.
THANK YOU. YOU NEED A NEW JOB.
Bahahaha. For my sister…. ;) I love you all the same.
I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT KIND OF CAKE YOU WANTED SO I GOT YOU MEATBALLS.
THERE ISN’T ANY SAUCE BECAUSE THE CAN OPENER IS BROKEN.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I HEARD THERE MGHT BE A DESTINY’S CHILD REUNION TOUR!
AAAAAAAHMMAHGGAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHDDD! THAT WOULD BE THE BEST THING!
This is Baby Howard, an English Bulldog who was rescued from the mean streets of Brooklyn, NY at only 6 weeks old! He was a healthy boy, and after checking out with the vet he was fostered by our event coordinator. She, of course, fell in love and adopted him! He’s now a year and a half old and couldn’t be in better shape. He was named after Howard Stern, a huge supporter of the Long Island Bulldog Rescue, and his wife, Beth, just featured us on her new show, Posh Pets, and bought him tons of new clothes. However, all of this fame hasnt gone to Howard’s head: He comes to every single one of our events, and runs the kissing booth single handedly! Through Baby Howard, we’ve made thousands of dollars for English Bulldogs in need, and we will continue to do so. You can donate to the Long Island Bulldog Rescue at longislandbulldogrescue.org, or you can like us on facebook. There’s always tons of pictures of our posterboy on our facebook page, or you can like his facebook page at Baby Howard. He’s a great natured dog, and everyone within the Long Island Bulldog Rescue, including me, absolutely LOVES him!!!
(via mrs-enchilada-deactivated201209)
For my darling Evelyn…and Denise and Arthur. ;)
I’M REALLY NERVOUS. WILL COLLEGE BE SCARY?
NO, HONEY. IT WILL BE WONDERFUL. WITH THE MONEY WE SAVE WE’RE GOING TO PAINT THE LIVING ROOM AND REFINISH THE DECK. DAD WANTS TO TURN YOUR ROOM INTO AN OFFICE SO HE’S GOT SOMEWHERE TO WORK. I’M GOING TO TAKE SOME ART CLASSES AT THE COMMUNITY CENTER. ONCE THAT’S DONE, THE JOHNSONS SAID WE CAN USE THEIR CABIN FOR A WEEK OR TWO, SO THAT SHOULD BE REALLY NICE. IT’S RIGHT BY THE OCEAN. THEN WE WERE THINKING ABOUT BUYING SOME NICER FURNITUR-
I MEANT FOR ME. WILL COLLEGE BE SCARY FOR ME?
OH. I DON’T KNOW. PROBABLY.
THANKS FOR LISTENING. I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU.
YOU’RE LITERALLY MY BEST FRIEND.
